Good news

I'm back - at last. Well so much has happened since my last blog and all of it good. Praise God both ct and bone scans were clear and hence chemotherapy finished after session four. Mind you session four did silence me for quite a lengthy time with complete energy loss!!

Some days I've missed my hair and other days it has been totally liberating to not need a hairdryer. But good news my hair is growing again - not long enough yet to determine the colour but God has each strand numbered! (Luke12v7) That's the detail of God that He cares about me so much He even counts my hairs.

I have had a really good rest and today have commenced radiotherapy in the cancer centre so I will be on the road to Belfast daily Mon - Fri from now until Christmas Eve. Love in action is all you lovely people who are driving each day.

God has really blessed my life beyond measure in these last weeks and months. I see and receive His blessing every day through family and friends who do all the little things as well as the big things to make a difference - shirts ironed (in a house of 4 men that's a lot of shirts!), coffee shared, meals delivered, retail therapy outings and the list goes on. I really do thank God for each of you (Phil 1v3).

Weddings are big on my agenda at the minute - neice married in Sept, another neice engaged in Sept, friend's wedding in December. We girls just love all the preparation and excitement - dresses, banquet, party, celebration. That's just how it should be for the church - being busy and loving the preparation for Christ's return for us, making ourselves beautiful for Him to enjoy a lifetime with Him. So many lessons to learn through it all.

And so as my journey continues this blog is only a fragment of the lived experience of cancer. It has introduced me to people I could never have expected to meet, strengthened my faith and friendships and I hope it will ultimately bring glory to my heavenly father.

Cancer is so limited:

• it cannot cripple God's love
• it cannot shatter hope
• it cannot erode faith
• it cannot destroy peace
• it cannot kill friendship
• it cannot shut out memories
• it cannot silence courage
• it cannot invade the soul
• it cannot steal eternal life
• it cannot conquer the spirit.

Overcoming side effects

Have been trying to gather together a few words to describe my last couple of weeks but my energy levels have been so low I couldn't even think!! After our strawberry tea afternoon all my hair has now gone. This was a strange experience - many had told me it was their most traumatic part of the journey. It is distressing for anyone I think but I remind myself that it is only temporary. I have now got used to the bald look - maybe I'll muster up the courage to share it online some of these days. The wig does look good, if different, so I'll be able to go out in disguise! I now have a new respect for Harry Morrow hairstyles - your heads must be freezing all the time guys and pillows are now a funny sensation!!

The side effects of chemotherapy are at times challenging. We take so much for granted each day like the taste of our food. Whilst mine is being really compromised by a very metallic taste I find myself seeking after strong tastes to overcome the metal. Yesterday I found a real answer - Praise God. My friend came to visit with a new bandana. We had a really good time talking about God and as we did so I realised that the taste in My mouth had greatly improved. You see the sweet taste of God's name on my lips was enough to dispel the poison in my system. Believe me this is clearly a case of taste and see that He is good.

Another side effect has been tinnitus - the constant ringing sound in my ears. Now whilst I am learning to be content in all circumstances this ringing is not exactly a glorious melody in which to rest. Yesterday afternoon I actioned the words of scripture that God has not given me a spirit of timidity but of power and love and self control. (2 Tim 1 v7) So I got the ipod going at full blast with praise songs, ear phones in and voice belting out those words. Praising God is a powerful and effective weapon and the tinnitus was overcome. Isn't God just the absolute best. By the way the words of the beautiful song 'Healer' by Kari Jobe are perfect for such occasions.

Whilst I have no control over how my body will respond I do have choices to make daily how I will respond mentally and spiritually. Learning to be content in all circumstances has proven vital and God's promise in Isaiah 43 that I have been redeemed, paid for, am never alone, will pass trough waters which will not consume me and fire that will not burn me remains my steadfast security.

Strawberry Tea

Just reporting in after an amazing weekend in Cranfield. On Saturday afternoon Elaine and her fantastic army of helpers had organised a strawberry tea to raise money for breast cancer care and show their support for Judy and myself. We had an awesome time, God blessed us with beautiful sunshine and almost £1100 was raised - an absolutely incredible achievement in 90 minutes! This again is what it is like to do life with amazing friends. Well done everyone and thanks to all the family and friends who travelled to sunny Cranfield.

Home Sweet Home

Well folks, just to report that I have completed my first session of chemotherapy in the Northern Ireland Cancer Centre and have returned home to rest. I had a three night stay and despite a few delays and hiccups everything has gone well. I met some amazing people on the journey and managed to complete a cookie challenge in the process. Have a look at the urban angel website for detail.

Since I came home on Thursday night I have experienced exhaustion that I would not have imagined possible!! But a little verse from God's word has truly sustained me: "My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness. Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ's power may rest on me. "(2 Cor 12 v9) I recognise that this is only the beginning of my process but with God's word filled to overflowing with His promises I rest assured in His great unending love.

Can I just encourage you to never under estimate the power of your words - I received so many beautiful words of encouragement and scripture yet again that it truly is medicine to the body and soul. Thank you all and God Bless

Next step

Well folks I've just had a little 'blog rest' for a few days but I'm back to report on my next step on this awesome journey. As previously anticipated I am for admission to City Hospital tomorrow Mon 27th am for chemotherapy to commence.

I'm not sure of the exact detail but praise God He knows every detail and so as I step into the strange land of chemotherapy it is with the confidence that my creator holds me in the palm of His mighty hand. God's demonstration of the detail has been beyond my wildest dreams as He affirms His healing touch on my body. I so love and praise Him in these circumstances.

I've just had such a lovely day today - it started with my church family in Ballydown - I so love you people, what you have taught me and what I see God doing in our lives. Thanks for the prayer time - such beautiful peace. We then had an awesome lunch with the family - my mother's cooking is always the best!!

So now my bag is packed and I look forward to some rest in God's word. Just feel to share

Jeremiah 29v11 with you tonight - it is probably one of my best loved verses in God's word - 'For I know the plans I have for you, declares the Lord, plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.' This is my boundless hope - it does not mean I will be spared pain, suffering or hardship but that God will see me through to a glorious conclusion. Amen

Moving mountains

Isn't it just awesome how when we find ourselves in great need God's supply is even greater when we just ask. I've been following daily devotionals on the Joyce Meyer website (see link) now that I have a wee bit more time on my hands and pages that I am sure were written weeks ago are dropped into my life just when they are needed. I've typed below a poem which appeared about a week ago and speaks into my life and circumstances with a real measure of God's grace and peace. Now if you want a worship song to go with it try Hillsong United 'Mighty to Save'

I now anticipate admission to Belfast City Hospital on Mon 27th for chemotherapy unless God has other plans - I await His guidance and direction for all that lies ahead. I've just picked up a wonderful verse this evening from Psalm 50 v15 'call upon Me in the day of trouble; I will deliver you, and you will honour Me.' Pray that verse into my life folks as you approach the throne of grace with confidence and that my dream will be fulfilled to honour Him.

Lots of love from the sunny side of Cranfield!!


I want you to face the mountain
so that you can see
when the mountain is out of the way
all there is left is Me.

Only I can move the mountain
Only I push it away
Only I can conquer the problems
that you face today.

Your only job is to believe
to listen to My voice
and when you hear what I command
obedience is your choice.

But I will not make it too difficult
for the victory is already Mine
and I will fill you with My spirit
and through you My grace will shine.

Not when you are perfect
like you think you need to be
but when your heart is willing
to become more and more like Me.

Purple Lotus Flower

I am so thankful for all the cards and texts I have received from wide and far. They carry messages of hope and encouragement with personal thoughts and prayers added. Among the many beautiful cards I have received one depicts a purple lotus flower. It is a special flower because it is rare and distinctive with a beautiful mild fragrance and found in many parts of India. The purple lotus flower germinates at the bottom of a muddy, filthy pond and is surrounded by muck. However with time the lotus blossoms and raises its beautiful pure head above all the filth. The lotus blooms as a beautiful flower away from the dirt turning its face towards the light.

I love it when God is speaking to me through the beauty of His creation. Each one of us is a unique and distinctive individual created by God. Through the cesspool of life our beauty is created as we turn towards the light of His son, Jesus.

I am aware this is the second posting to mention beauty from muck - not intentionally but then that is the business that God is in. It is an emerging picture that this situation of cancer can to the onlooker seem dirty and dark but when you focus on Jesus it creates His unique beauty within us.

As I approach the prospect of chemotherapy I have been focusing on His words regarding some of the signs that will accompany believers as spoken in Mark 16 v18 '...when they drink deadly poison, it will not hurt them at all; they will place their hands on sick people, and they will get well.' What an assurance that words spoken on earth 2,000 years ago are speaking to me from heaven tonight.

Breast Buddies

'A friend loves at all times' Proverbs 17 v17

This is just a short post to introduce my friend Judy. We've been having a chill out time at the caravan resting between surgery and chemo. Judy had surgery 5 days after me so somedays I lend her my slippers as she follows the same path. Girls you need to watch this space to see men jump when we click our fingers! Seriously now, I think we are both blessed to live with some of the best men on the planet - Judy has three and I have four and they have all showered us with love.

Doing life with great friends is good and I believe God has equipped me and will protect me in this my place of purpose.

F.R.O.G.

OK friends, here is another beautiful story. Two years ago I placed a little bracelet unto the wrist of a very special young man. It said simply F.R.O.G. He too was battling cancer. Those letters represented that we are Fully Reliant On God. That is of course how we should all be thinking every day but we often get caught up in the busyness of life and can become self reliant at times.

Last year I bought this frog cushion whilst on holiday in Italy - it is so totally un-cordinated in the colour scheme of my bedroom but is a daily reminder that I am fully reliant on God for all my needs.

Here are some interesting comparisons between the frog and me!

• When I looked at the frog I discovered that a group of frogs are an army. Now for me that means an army of prayer warriors who are also fully reliant on God on my behalf. Keep praying soldiers it is making such an impact.
• Frogs are noted for their call - well what can I say, I'm never short on the spoken word. The call of the frog can be heard far away - a bit like this blog which has the potential to be read all over the world!
• Frogs can breathe through their skin which enables them to hibernate for several months beneath piles of mud and decaying leaves underwater. Perhaps that is a message in season that under the mud of cancer and treament I will still be breathing in God's healing word.

I am now awaiting my appointment with the oncologist either next week or the following. I expect my treatment to commence the week after consultation. God's promise to me has been for the best of care (Ps 91: 14-16, the Message) and that is certainly my experience of the NHS as a user instead of a provider!

I am hoping to go off to the caravan for the weekend to have some quality time with my boys and catch up on my friend Judy who is on the same journey as myself. Please just keep pouring in God's word to my life by text. Your encouragements are all so uplifting and I think we all deserve shares in the mobile networks because of your vast usage. I would love to reply individually to everyone but will have blisters on my thumbs if I do, so please accept my blog as your personal message from me. Praise God for the amazing gift of friends.

Love to everyone

Jean xx

Bring Your Red Umbrella

This is a wee story that has come to resemble my life over the past two years and is totally for this season.

Bring your red umbrella

When severe drought hit a small farming community in the Midwest, a local church called a prayer meeting and everybody showed up. Crisis has a way of getting our attention! As the pastor stood before his packed church he notice an 11-year-old girl sitting in the front row, beaming with excitement. Lying next to her was her bright red umbrella poised for use. The beauty and innocence of this sight made him smile as he compared the faith of this child with that of the rest of the people in the room. You see, the rest of them had just come to pray for rain; she had come to see God answer prayer!

One of the dangers of praying, is praying, yet not really expecting anything: "Without faith it is impossible to please God, because anyone who comes to Him must believe that ... He rewards those who earnestly seek Him' (hebrews 11:6 NIV). You say, 'So how do I get more faith?' By filling your mind with the scriptures! 'Faith cometh by hearing, and hearing by the word of God' (Romans 10:17). When you immerse yourself in God's word an amazing thing happens; faith takes root and begins to grow. And faith is what makes your prayer effective.

But what if your prayer lines up with God's Word, yet the answer is delayed? Keep praying and believing! 'Do not throw away your confidence; it will be richly rewarded. You need to persevere so that when you have done the will of God, you will receive what He has promised' (Hebrews 10:35-36 NIV). So when you pray for rain, bring your 'red umbrella!'

Ready to roll

Oh I am so excited - I have one follower on my blog already!! At this rate there should be twenty by tomorrow. Whao God - you are amazing! This is my first blog totally unaided - I am officially an independent blogger.

Hello & Welcome

Welcome to my first attempt at blogging. This will be my journey to recovery from breast cancer. My journey began on Tuesday 9th June in Craigavon Area Hospital and has been trundling along at top speed ever since. This is not a lonesome journey because God has promised never to leave me nor forsake me. I hope this blog brings Him all the glory and honour as he carries me through challenging days and shows His love in every detail of my life. I invite you to share this journey with me and see the amazing things God has in store for us.